Map Jokes, Part II

These additional map jokes are courtesy of Douglas Caldwell, [email protected]
Q. What kind of sunglasses do physical relief maps wear?
A. Hypsometric tints.

Q. Why couldn't Mark McGwire reach first after hitting his 62nd home run?
A. He didn't have a base map.

Q. What do you call a map of outhouses in the woods?
A. A shaded relief map.

Q. How can you tell if a map was made by a troll?
A. It is in the gnome-onic (gnomonic) projection.

Q. What kind of maps do spiders make?
A. Web-based maps.

Q. What do you call the queue of foreign couples outside the Hard Rock Cafe?
A. The international date line.

Q. Why didn't the map projection finish his speech?
A. He was interrupted.

Q. A Mercator, Lambert Conformal, and Homolosine projection met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Only the Homolsine Projection went on to heaven. Why?
A. It was the only Good(e) projection.

Q. Why do soldiers study their maps at stop lights?
A. Because their maps are red-light readable.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------