Map Jokes, Part IV

These additional map jokes are courtesy of Douglas Caldwell, [email protected]
Q: Why did the innocent map go to jail?
A: It was framed by the neatline.

Q: What projection do lost sheep use to find their way home?
A: The Lamb-ert Conic Conformal projection.

Q: Why don't cartography librarians wear high heels?
A: They prefer map flats.

Q: What is the difference between a tub full of freezing water and a depth contour?
A: One is an icy bath and the other is an isobath.

Q: How do maps comb their hair?
A: They use a geographic brush.

Q: Why is the Jenks classification system like an orthopedic surgeon?
A: They both deal with natural breaks.

Q: Why didn't the marginalia go to the dance?
A: It didn't have a date.

Q: Why was the globe rated "R"?
A: Because of its gore. (In earlier times, a map that was pasted on the globe consisted of a number of tapered strips, called gores.)

Q: What is the difference between a black tie dinner for prisoners and a projection showing true shape?
A: One is a con formal and the other is conformal.

Q: What kind of contours can see in the dark?
A: Illuminated contours.

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